On Missing Someone...

today is a very gloomy day for me. probably it has something to do with starting the day with tears on my eyes.

i dreamed of my sister this morning, just before i woke up. she looks so alive in my dream. i can clearly see her long wavy hair and her cheery smile. we talked. i did not ask her with the why's that the whole family asked when she passed away, but instead i asked her why did she come back. then, she said, "kasi malulungkot kayo, at saka hindi ninyo na magagawa iyon mga bagay na dati nating ginagawa."

right after she said that, i woke up. i just stayed in bed for a few minutes more and was thinking... i know that my sister is gone, and i have accepted that. what does my dream means? why dreamed of her now?

went to the other room where my friend, erin was sleeping. i opened the door and she woke up, then, we talked. the conversation started with what she did last night, who was sms-ing her, etc. then, i told her i had a weird dream, that i dreamed of minette and she was so alive in my dream. then, i started crying. erin was surprised. it has been more than two months since our dear minette passed away. she began thinking what the dream meant.

two weeks ago i always, almost everyday wake up in the middle of the night. i don't know why... i don't know if it has something to do with my dream...

i also spoke this morning with my friend, raymond. told him about my dream. he also knows about the nights that i wake up in the middle of the night. he said that i might be excited on my family's arrival (for waking up in the middle of the night), and that i only misses my sister (for the dream). he said that yes, we all have accepted the loss, individually i.e. but then, it's another episode when we all see each other and be together to lay my sister in her final resting place.

raymond is probably right, that i am missing my sister. he said that minette is now very happy in the "happy place". when he said this, i cried. maybe because it hit me again that she's really gone, that she already left us. the past couple of days, i was thinking about her, she was very young. she was only 26 years old. i'm tired of asking the why's because it all doesn't matter, she's gone, and the only thing we can do is to pray for her. it is really very difficult for all of us, until now. my dad and my mom was really hurt of what happened. up to now, they are having a hard time sleeping, and thinking maybe of the shoulda-woulda-coulda's. i don't know... we all tried to convince to her stay in ny, but she refused. if she stayed in ny and lived near my parent's place, or if she stayed here in manila, will it make a difference? i don't know... probably not. like what daddy said, "it's maybe her time to be with God. tanggapin na lang natin. nandyan na yan."

it's almost 7pm here in manila, and i still can't help but think and cry over what had happened. i keep thinking of the times that we should have talked, the times that i thought she'd be the next bride in the family, the times that we all planned to spend a holiday together. exactly on this summer season in america, she was suppose to spend a longer vacation with us here in manila, since our baby brother is also coming home on his school break. we were all, the whole family is planning a trip to some place we all haven't been to. it's probably like the times when we all went to the beach when we were kids.

in a few days, we'll be picking up my parents and my brother at the airport. daddy and mommy is bringing minette home.

Dinner with Friends

the girls and i had dinner at burgoo in powerplant mall. sheggz also joined us for dinner (since she's staying at home for a couple days, i invited her d=D ). When we arrived at the restaurant, everybody was there. btw, it was a dinner with my w@wie friends, jen, jane, van and arlene.

we did a lot of catching up. more kwento of how's life being married and all. and we have a present for mommy arlene's baby.... aaaawwwwwwww...... parang baby shower.

sheggz just listened and laughed with us. being single and very much available, she doesn't feel she can pinch in anything into the conversation. i guess, she just took notes of the how to's and should be's. hehehehe.....

left to right: Sheggz, Maricel, Jane, Jen, Van, Arlene, and Arlene's companion

girls, we should do this again, before arlene gives birth. d=D

My Heavenly No Bake Cheesecake

INGREDIENTS:

Crust
1½ cups finely ground graham cracker crumbs
3 tablespoons butter
3 tablespoons white sugar

Cheesecake Mixture
2 packages (8-ounce) cream cheese
1/3 cup white sugar
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1 cup heavy whipping cream, whipped

Gelatin Mixture
1 envelope unflavored gelatin (recommended: Knoxx brand)
1/2 cup sugar
1 cup boiling water

Topping
sliced fresh strawberries, blueberries, or any fruit of your choice (optional)


DIRECTIONS:

1. In a bowl, mix graham crackers with melted butter and the 3 tablespoons sugar.
   
2. Press into a 7 inch springform pan. Place in refrigerator or chiller until ready for use.
   
3. In another bowl, with a mixer, beat cream cheese, 1/3 cup of sugar and lemon juice.
   
4. Whip cream, and fold into cream cheese mixture.
   
5. In another bowl, mix the gelatin and ½ cup of sugar.
   
6. Pour in 1 cup of boiling water and thoroughly dissolve using a fork. Keep stirring for 5 minutes or until completely dissolved. Do not let cool and move onto the next step immediately. (It is important that the water be boiling hot and that you mix the gelatin powder in quickly so it is completely dissolved. If not, you will have gummy bear-type lumps.).
   
7. With the mixer on high and working very quickly so the gelatin does not set, blend the hot dissolved gelatin thoroughly into cheesecake mixture.
   
8. Spread into pan.
   
9. Top with sliced strawberries (optional). Freeze for 1 hour, covered with foil (or chill in the refrigerator for about 3 to 4 hours or until firm).
   
10. Place in refrigerator 30 minutes before serving.

Hint: If you have any extra cheesecake mixture left over after filling the pie pan , put it in a pastry bag or heavy-duty plastic bag and put it in your freezer for about 7 to 10 minutes, just to firm it up a bit to the thickness of whipped cream. Then take it out and decorate the top of the Cheesecake. (If it is in a plastic bag, snip the corner off.)

Stress Management

the article below was sent to me this morning by a cousin-in-law. i find it a bit weird, because this is a different approach to handling stress management. though, for some the approach is attractive, but as the author said, "violence will not solve problems".

Bar in China lets stressed patrons beat waiters, staff

BEIJING: A new bar in eastern China is offering customers an unusual outlet for anger—by allowing them to use the staff as punching bags, the state media said Monday.

Besides getting a drink, customers at the “Rising Sun Anger Release Bar” in Nanjing City are able to pay money to beat up special waiters and staff, smash glasses, shout and scream, the China Daily said.

If these anger management techniques do not work, the customers can also receive psychological counseling, the paper said.

The bar employs 20 well-built men in their 20s and 30s who have agreed to be hit. Customers can specify how they want the men to appear—they can even be dressed up as women, the China Daily said.

The bar charges 50 to 300 yuan ($6.35 to $37.50) for customers to release their anger, depending on their demands.

The bar was set up in April by Wu Gong, a 29-year-old man who got his inspiration from similar bars in Japan, according to the paper.

Wu insisted the models were fully equipped with protective gear, and the bar gave them regular physical training so they were prepared for the attacks.

Also, most customers are women, particularly those working in the service and entertainment companies, such as karaoke bars or massage parlors.

The bar has stirred controversy, with some critics interviewed by the China Daily saying that although the idea of beating someone dressed as one’s boss might be attractive to some people, violence will not solve problems.

(from the The Manila Times Internet Edition)

what is stress actually?

stress is a condition or feeling experienced when a person perceives that demands exceed the personal and social resources the individual is able to mobilize. (excerpts from Mind Tools)

people feel little stress when they have the time, experience and resources to manage a situation. They feel great stress when they think they can't handle the demands put upon them. Stress is therefore a negative experience. And it is not an inevitable consequence of an event: It depends a lot on people's perceptions of a situation and their real ability to cope with it.

it is popular to us that stress causes very negative effects on our short- and long-term health, performance and career success, as well as on our personal happiness. thus, making way on the emphasis of good stress management approaches. these approaches may be (1)action oriented (reducing stress by taking action), (2)perception oriented (dealing with attitudes and emotional responses to stress), or (3)and survival oriented (living and coping with stresses that cannot be otherwise resolved). (identified in Mind Tools)

the above-mentioned approaches have tips and techniques on how to constructively manage stress. two of the techniques is to develop a healthy lifestyle, and a good work-life balance. this will help reduce background stress levels and has a long-term health benefitts for you as well. read more on the techniques at Stress Management Resources from Mind Tools.

there are still a lot of constructive means to cope up with stress and violence should never be an answer. mas madami pang negative effects if you resort to violence. it's also possible when you're so burn-out, you'll hit someone on the streets. kawawa naman ang mga taong walang kamalay-malay. hehehehe...

have a good day everyone.

Monday Sickness

it's monday again, and this morning i was bitten by the monday sickness bug. hehehehe...

5 things i hate about mondays:

1. waking up early in the morning
   
2. traffic on a monday morning rush
   
3. working after having spending a good weekend
   
4. feeling really lazy
   
5. you don't have a choice but to report for work
   

la ako maisip. mamaya nalang ulit. later...

His Needs, Her Needs

How can a couple prevent adultery? Dr. Willard Harley in his book His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage provides some answers. He has found that marriages that fail to meet a spouse's needs are more vulnerable to an extramarital affair. Often the failure of men and women to meet each other's needs is due to a lack of knowledge rather than a selfish unwillingness to be considerate. Meeting these needs is critically important because in marriages that fail to meet needs, it is striking and alarming how consistently married people seek to satisfy their unmet needs through an extramarital affair. If any of a spouse's five basic needs goes unmet, that spouse becomes vulnerable to the temptation of an affair.

First, let's look at the five needs of a wife. The first need is for affection. To most women affection symbolizes security, protection, comfort, and approval. When a husband shows his wife affection, he sends the following messages: (1) I'll take care of you and protect you; (2) I'm concerned about the problems you face, and I am with you; (3) I think you've done a good job, and I'm so proud of you.

Men need to understand how strongly women need these affirmations. For the typical wife, there can hardly be enough of them. A hug can communicate all of the affirmations of the previous paragraph. But, affection can be shown in many ways such as: kisses, cards, flowers, dinners out, opening the car door, holding hands, walks after dinner, back rubs, phone calls…there are a thousand ways to say "I love you." From a woman's point of view, affection is the essential cement of her relationship with a man.

The second need is conversation. Wives need their husbands to talk to them and to listen to them; they need lots of two-way conversation. In their dating life prior to marriage, most couples spent time showing each other affection and talking. This shouldn't be dropped after the wedding. When two people get married, each partner has a right to expect the same loving care and attention that prevailed during courtship to continue after the wedding. The man who takes time to talk to a woman will have an inside track to her heart.

The third need is honesty and openness. A wife needs to trust her husband totally. A sense of security is the common thread woven through all of a woman's five basic needs. If a husband does not keep up honest and open communication with his wife, he undermines her trust and eventually destroys her security. To feel secure, a wife must trust her husband to give her accurate information about his past, the present, and the future. If she can't trust the signals he sends, she has no foundation on which to build a solid relationship. Instead of adjusting to him, she always feels off balance; instead of growing toward him, she grows away from him.

Financial commitment is a fourth need a wife experiences. She needs enough money to live comfortably: she needs financial support. No matter how successful a career a woman might have, she usually wants her husband to earn enough money to allow her to feel supported and to feel cared for.

The fifth need is family commitment. A wife needs her husband to be a good father and have a family commitment. The vast majority of women who get married have a powerful instinct to create a home and have children. Above all, wives want their husbands to take a leadership role in the family and to commit themselves to the moral and educational development of their children.

Preventing Adultery: His Needs Now, let's look at the five needs husbands have. The first is sexual fulfillment . The typical wife doesn't understand her husband's deep need for sex anymore than the typical husband understands his wife's deep need for affection. But these two ingredients can work very closely together in a happy, fulfilled marriage. Sex can come naturally and often, if there is enough affection.

The second need for a man is recreational companionship. He needs her to be his playmate. It is not uncommon for women, when they are single, to join men in pursuing their interests. They find themselves hunting, fishing, playing football, and watching sports and movies they would never have chosen on their own.

After marriage wives often try to interest their husbands in activities more to their own liking. If their attempts fail, they may encourage their husbands to continue their recreational activities without them. But this option is very dangerous to a marriage, because men place surprising importance on having their wives as recreational companions. Among the five basic male needs, spending recreational time with his wife is second only to sex for the typical husband.

A husband's third need is an attractive spouse. A man needs a wife who looks good to him. Dr. Harley states that in sexual relationships most men find it nearly impossible to appreciate a woman for her inner qualities alone--there must be more. A man's need for physical attractiveness in a mate is profound.

The fourth need for a man is domestic support. He needs peace and quiet. So deep is a husband's need for domestic support from his wife that he often fantasizes about how she will greet him lovingly and pleasantly at the door, about well-behaved children who likewise act glad to see him and welcome him to the comfort of a well-maintained home.

The fantasy continues as his wife urges him to sit down and relax before taking part in a tasty dinner. Later the family goes out for an evening stroll, and he returns to put the children to bed with no hassle or fuss. Then he and his wife relax, talk together, and perhaps watch a little television until they retire at a reasonable hour to love each other. Wives may chuckle at this scenario, but this vision is quite common in the fantasy lives of many men. The male need for his wife to "take care of things"--especially him--is widespread, persistent, and deep.

The fifth need is admiration. He needs her to be proud of him. Wives need to learn how to express the admiration they already feel for their husbands instead of pressuring them to greater achievements. Honest admiration is a great motivator for men. When a woman tells a man she thinks he's wonderful, that inspires him to achieve more. He sees himself capable of handling new responsibilities and perfecting skills far above those of his present level.

If any of a spouse's five basic needs go unmet, that person becomes vulnerable to the temptation of an affair. Therefore, the best way to prevent adultery is to meet the needs of your spouse.

(article courtesy of Wanda)

Am I Scared?

the boxes that mommy sent just arrived an hour ago. there are 3 boxes. the boxes contain my sister's stuff, everything from clothes to shoes to bags, everything that she owns that will fit a balikbayan box. she has a lot of stuff!

still waiting for mommy's call for the instructions on what do to with my sister's belongings. she mentioned before that we will be giving away some of her things. yon iba, i don't know yet. and which stuff to give away... i don't know... i don't plan to touch the box untill mommy calls. takot ba ko? hindi naman na masyado. hehehehe... but if you ask me a month ago, "hell yeah!!!" hehehehehe.... at least now i can sleep in the bedroom alone (still with rocko in the room and on the bed, of course), i can dress up with the door closed and move around the house even when i consciously know that i am alone. hehehehehe.....

after my sister passed away, i can not even go inside the bedroom alone, can't even wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom (still have to wake up hubby and ask to go with me. buti nalang mabait asawa ko.) and i demand that rocko stays with me wherever i go, as in 24/7. my hubby is an early riser, i'm the complete opposite, so when he gets out of bed, i wake up, because i don't want to be alone in the bedroom. hehehehe... and the lights, all lights inside the house have to be turned on when i'm home. i can't even look straight in the mirror. you may say that it's just my imagination. most likely... what can i do? my imagination makes me really crazy! hehehehe...

don't you ever ask me to watch scary movies, i'm definitely not going! heheheheh.... my sister and i are complete opposites on this, she loves scary movies and i hate those.

so now, what will i do with the boxes? dyan na muna sila sa sala ah. baka meron jack-in-box! hehehehehe.... but seriously, i'll wait for mommy's call first. madami yon gamit, san ko ilalagay yon? oh well.... if i open the box now, baka umiyak nanaman ako. d=(

More from Blogthings

You Are: 70% Dog, 30% Cat

You and dogs definitely have a lot in common. You're both goofy, happy, and content with the small things in life. However, you're definitely not as needy as the average dog. You need your down time occasionally.

Are You More Cat or Dog?

hahaha. i'd definitely love to be a dog. i'm a 101% dog person!

You Are Likely a First Born

At your darkest moments, you feel guilty. At work and school, you do best when you're researching. When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often. In friendship, you are considerate and compromising. Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking. You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.

The Birth Order Predictor

Your World View

You are a fairly broadminded romantic and reasonably content. You value kindness and try to live by your ideals. You have strong need for security, which may be either emotional or material. You respect truth and are flexible. You like people, and they can readily make friends with you. You are not very adventurous, but this does not bother you.

What Is Your World View?

Your Love Element Is Earth

In love, you have consistency and integrity. For you, love is all about staying grounded and centered. You attract others with your zest for life and experiences. Your flirting style is defined by setting the scene, creating a unique moment in time. Steady progress and stability are the cornerstones of your love life. You may take things too slowly, but you never put your heart at risk. You connect best with: Fire Avoid: Wood You and another Earth element: need each other too much to build a good foundation

What Element Is Your Love?

You Are Apple Red

You're never one to take life too seriously, and because of it, you're a ton of fun. And although you have a great sense of humor, you are never superficial. Deep and caring, you do like to get to the core of people - to understand them well. However, any probing you do is light hearted and fun, sometimes causing people to misjudge you.

What Color Red Are You?

You Are Scary

You even scare scary people sometimes!

How Scary Are You?

totoo ba talga to?! hahahahah... i know i am sometimes scary. pero, even scaring scary people. bwahahahahaha!!!

You Are a Centaur

In general, you are a very cautious and reserved person. However, you are also warm hearted, and you enjoy helping others in practical ways. You are a great teacher, and you are really good at helping people get their lives in order. You are very intuitive, and you go with your gut. You make good decisions easily.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

You Are 44% Abnormal

You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul. You are at medium risk for having a borderline personality. It is somewhat likely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at medium risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is somewhat likely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

i think the OC part and hand sanitizer are true. hahahaha...

You Are 40% Normal

While some of your behavior is quite normal... Other things you do are downright strange You've got a little of your freak going on But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

How Normal Are You?

ay 40% lang? 44+40=84. eh ano yon 16%???

You Are 59% Vain

You're a little vain, but more than anything you have a healthy amount of confidence. Thinking the world of yourself is great. Just don't think less of those who aren't as pretty as you!

How Vain Are You?

Pick-Up At NAIA

currently at loss of topics to blog about. share ko na lang about my brother's arrival 2 nights ago.

my brother was on a northwest flight, eta at 1030pm. hubby and i planned to leave home at around 1130 because we assumed the traffic inside the airport (immigration, the luggage carousel, etc). so, more or less my brother will be able to get out of the airport at around 12mn.

at 1030, my phone rang. it was my brother:

brother: asan na kayo?
maricel: asan ka na?
brother: nandito na sa labas. asan na kayo?
maricel: huh? ang bilis mo naman.
brother: asan na nga kayo?
maricel: on the way na
brother: san nga?
maricel: papunta na nga.
brother: nasa bahay ka pa noh?
maricel: heeheehee. aalis na nga kami. tapos ka na ba talaga dyan?
brother: oo nga. nasa labas na nga ako.
maricel: o cge na. antayin mo lang kami dyan
brother: cge. bilisan nyo.
maricel: oo na.

so, we rushed to the airport. when we saw my brother, all he said was, "ang tagal nyo. ang init." hehehe...

being an "ate", i'm glad to see my little brother. we're also looking forward to seeing my parents and another brother in two weeks. the whole family will be together to put my sister's ashes in her crypt or her columbarium.

Outreach Program

FRIENDS FOR LIFE (visiting/theraphy dogs and bite prevention program) will be visiting kids with cancer on September 16 (saturday).

Any kind of help from friends will be highly appreciated. We will be needing volunteers to help fascilitate on the day as well. We can all make a difference in our own little ways.

Please help us spread our good cause. SALAMAT!

For interested friends, buzz me.

ANTONETTE MANIQUIS
mobile number: 09193307697
email address: antonettemaniquis@gmail.com
ym id: pinayangel899

if you guys are not busy on september 16, baka pwede tayong mag volunteer.

thanks.

Rain, Rain, Go Away

today is another day with a bad weather. been raining almost non-stop for 2 days now.

Issued at: 5:00 AM 1 August 2006
Valid beginning: 5:00 p.m. today until 5:00 p.m. tomorrow

At 2:00 a.m. today, Tropical Depression "HENRY" was estimated based on radar, satellite and surface data at 150 kms west northwest of Dagupan City (16.7°N 119.0°E) with maximum sustained winds of 55 kph. It is forecast to move west at 19 kph. Southwest monsoon affecting western sections of Southern Luzon and Visayas. (http://newsinfo.inq7.net/weather)

ang sarap matulog...

my brother will be arriving in manila tomorrow evening. he's been asking about the weather. probably he's planning to go to the beach. hehehehe...

actually, our cousin who's also coming home from ny, quit her job so she can visit the philippines and part of her itinerary is to go to boracay or palawan. whoa!!! at this time of the year in the philippines?! haven't been to any philippine island during the rainy season. nakakatakot ang boat rides, baka maalon. we'll see...

antok na ko... i'll have my siesta muna. i'll see you guys in a bit.

tata!